Chicago

All I could think when stepping off the airplane was, "why am I here?" "what am I doing here?" Regret was starting to fill the air.

My trip going to JFK and my bad experience at the airport with my overweight baggage was so overwhelming that I cried in front of the Delta employees, TSA officers, and just everyone who was near me. I cried so much. I was so stressed this entire month planning where I was going to stay, the last two weeks especially being the heaviest. Packing up my dorm and putting everything to storage was also extremely stressful because I ended up having way more stuff than I thought and had to use four different places/apartments to store my stuff. The day of my departure I just had a lot of little difficulties leading up to my departure, things like having no cash, having to go back to my dorm even though I moved out, etc. I was so exasperated by everything I cried the entire way to Chicago. I was so miserable that I kept questioning why I decided to intern here and live here. Why didn't I just go back home to LA? I love Los Angeles. I love New York City. Everything would've been so smooth had I stayed in NYC or gone home. I wouldn't have to deal with such a long ass commute to downtown Chicago everyday since I'm in the suburbs. I wouldn't have to deal with living with my great aunt and great uncle who I don't know very well. I wouldn't have to deal with spending so much money. I wouldn't have to deal with finding new friends. I wouldn't have to deal with anything that made me uncomfortable.

So maybe that's why I'm here.

I believe God's challenging me to step out of my comfort zone. To love my great aunt and uncle. To learn what family means. To learn more about His love. To jostle me from side to side and show me what I cannot see with my limiting eyes. I'm really uncomfortable. I truly am. But, I'm also really excited.